Vineyard Church | Weekly Update March 6, 2024

Opportunities to apply the model of defiance that Jesus is presenting abound.… As we journey through our days and weeks, the friction that comes from our journey intersecting the journey of others gives us the battleground of spiritual warfare that is interpersonal relationships. The relational culture we interact with entices us to respond to this friction with self-defense, self-righteousness, and callousness, but we see in Jesus another way.

Sometimes the model Jesus gives us is one that without context can look callous even though it is an example of patient love. This is certainly true when we see one response that Jesus gives when followers break relationship with him, when they choose to walk away from the relationship he offers. The example of patient love that Jesus gives us can be distilled to two words: Don’t Chase. When people we are in community with, followers of Jesus that are a part of fellowship, choose to break relationship, we defy culture and follow the example of Jesus when we don’t chase.

Don’t chase.… At first, that doesn’t seem to reflect patient love, compassionate rescue, or the very character of Jesus. A common argument against the don’t chase model flows from something Jesus teaches in Matthew 18 and Luke 15, a parable that describes how Jesus as the Good Shepherd will leave the 99 sheep that are safely in the Kingdom in order to seek out the one, the lost, the sheep that has yet to experience the reality of the Kingdom of God.

While he does chase the lost, he does not chase the sheep that knows him and makes the choice in freedom to leave his company. When we aim to do the things that Jesus did, chasing the lost with his example is certainly something we do, but also in his image, when fellow believers break relationship with us, his example is clear.… Don’t chase.

Again, this looks like callousness but is truly an example of patient love. Consider the vast amounts of followers that we see leave Jesus at various points in the Gospel narratives. John 6 is a scene that finds many disciples of Jesus, followers that had seen miraculous signs and wonders, choose to exercise their freedom by breaking relationship and leaving Jesus. Jesus lets them go.

In Mark 10, Luke 18, and Matthew 19, Jesus has an encounter with a rich young ruler that has worked hard his whole life to keep the law in order to have relationship with God. When Jesus explains to him what it looks like to go beyond ritual and enter into faith, the young man cannot abide what Jesus is saying and leaves him and his years of rule-keeping behind. Jesus lets him go.

To say that the many disciples leaving or the rich young ruler leaving didn’t matter to Jesus would be to mischaracterize his love. When people leave, it hurts. When people break fellowship, it hurts. Even in the hurt of breaking relationship, Jesus doesn’t chase.

The best example of this relational philosophy being an example of patient love comes from the parable that effectively defines what is and isn’t chasing and the outcome possible when we resist the urge to chase. The parable of the prodigal son, one we have renamed the parable of the extravagant father, in Luke 15:11-32 lines us out on the love of not chasing.

In this parable, the son makes a choice to break relationship with his father, and he does so in brutal fashion. With actions that communicate that he wishes his father were dead, he demands release from the relationship. The father allows him to go. Even though the father is hurt, he lets his son go.

We next see the son in a struggle to survive outside of the relationship that gave him safety, comfort, and rest. We see the son go through a process that allows for reconciliation, a process of humility and growth. If the father had come to rescue the son from the process, this outcome would not have been achieved. The father allows the son to process fully.

When the son is ready, he returns. The father, always concerned for the son, is waiting and runs towards (different than chasing) his son and meets him at the gate. If the father had chased, consider the alternate endings this story could have, likely none of them ending in reconciliation.

Choosing to not chase allows for these things.… First, we honor adult decisions. People are free to go, and denying this freedom is relational transgression. Will it hurt? Always. It is vital for future reconciliation that we do not take counsel of this hurt and attempt to beg, persuade, or otherwise deny a choice of free will.

Next, we allow for the process. Change doesn’t happen without a process. People do not change without a process. The process is vital. During the process, we pray for those that left and we pray that God would refine us. One-sided departures are crazy rare, so there is always a point of emphasis that can lead us to a process of our own. With objectivity, hear any complaints or accusations that might be brought, and consider them in prayer and discussion with others. Demonstrate love and a posture of reconciliation by rejecting the urge to self-defense and press into the discipleship opportunity that has been presented. Trust that as God works in you, he is working in them.

Finally, watch for the opportunity to reconcile. This could be weeks, months, years, decades away.… But when we allow the process to complete, reconciliation is possible. When this opportunity manifests, we can run to the gate and prepare for a party.

Respecting the freedom of decisions, submission to the process, and a posture of anticipation of the opportunity to reconcile begin with following the example of Jesus; don’t chase.

Adam Greenwell
Pastor | Billings Vineyard Church
www.BillingsVineyard.org